I wonder why “bad boys” always wear sunglasses even inside. I bet it’s because they actually cry a lot. Babies!
I’m not here to make friends
Actually I am I just don’t know how
new internet slang for 2014:
*kisses computer on New Year’s*
people who write gorgeous metaphors and make comparisons
and I’m like
"he walked forward and got there."
My blog gets less funny as you scroll down but then gets funny again in the middle then sucks at the end.
I can’t wait to have money on a pile of sex
all two of you…
The amount of hair I lose in the shower really concerns me
Thug life? More like hug life, come ere
Why did the emo chicken cross the road?
Why do you care, you wouldn’t understand it
the worst std is children
legs so soft you can’t believe it’s not butter
I love walking on the beach with my boyfriend.
Until the LSD wears off and I’m just dragging a stolen mannequin around a car park
Does anyone else go on Wikipedia to look something up and then click on a bunch of random links and then half an hour later you’re 10 articles deep into the inner workings of Vietnamese politics
please stop adding ‘there are two kinds of people’ and ‘that escalated quickly’ to text posts
there are two kinds of rapid escalation
well that peopled twicely
Second grade boy gives me two donuts.
Me: What are these for?
Boy: Oh, I just wanted to because… you’re my favorite counselor and stuff.