"Money can’t make you happy"

WELL IT SURE AS HELL AINT GONNA MAKE ME SAD

I need support

preferably financial

LIFE HACK: disguise your nervous breakdown as a series of jokes

Live fast Die young I’m gonna eat this whole pizza by myself

This is why I don’t go on dates. They fall asleep on me. Really.

Who needs April Fools when your whole life is a joke

- Talking to Myself -

I wonder why “bad boys” always wear sunglasses even inside. I bet it’s because they actually cry a lot. Babies!

Don’t invite me to your wedding I will look better than you and it will be embarrassing for us both

I’m not here to make friends

Actually I am I just don’t know how